Life and Death

Sorry I missed last week’s post as I wasn’t in the right mood to do anything in particular. The main reason being was that my grandma passed away last Saturday morning.

One week later, today, my parents have arrived in Melbourne as planned. Hours passed by fine and I was more than happy to have them around. They are like my energy boosters. Then just as I thought everything would go fine, my auntie came by to visit. I was full on watching random things online with my earphones on both sides of my ears, so much so that I didn’t hear what the conversation was about. Movie ended, leg got numb, decided to eavesdrop a little in their conversation and I heard mum explaining the whole timeline of what, when and how grandma’s death came about. (this is something I don’t have the guts to ask, or maybe more like I don’t wanna know because I would break down once again, so I decided to eavesdrop) I was listening halfway and I thought I am over this already, strong enough to take this but when I heard the conversation came to an abrupt pause, I turned around and found mum weeping. Quietly, I looked away and started playing some music to drown myself in something better. I am sorry mum, I thought I was strong enough to take this, I thought I would be strong enough to walk to you and give you a hug but I guess I’m weaker than I thought. I am truly sorry mum, I could’ve done a better job than just sitting here typing this away while you’re still there bravely continuing the conversation.

There has been so much happening for the past few weeks, I think if there is more rejection or let downs to come, I would take them lightly because it is nothing big compared to grandma’s death anymore.

That’s all I have to say for today 🙂

Cheers & I hope all is well on your end, wherever you are

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